If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Frank

It was 6:00 pm and I was waking up at the dinning room table.The phone was rigning so I woke up"Frank Way?"

  "yes"I replied gripping the phone cord so hard my fingernails were digging into my hands.The lady told me he was down at the hospital"is he alright?"I asked 

  "hes going to be just fine"

  "alright i'll be there"

 I ran to the hospital covered in sweat and panting when I got there"Gerard Way"I said to the lady

  "room 226 right down that hall"she said and i took off running

  "is he alright?"I asked the doctor standing by his door

  "stable.I'm going to have the physiatric doctor Dr.Bob talk to him but you can go in and see him hes suffering from depression"he said

  "What happened do you know?"I asked

  "He jumped off a six story building but was intoxicated which im sure helped him survive but theres some bad news"he said

  "yeah?"I asked

  "Gerard's now a paraplegic"he said

  "whats that?"I asked

  "Paraplegia is an impairment in motor or sensory function of the lower extremities,He can't feel from his waist down"

  "I need to sit down"I said feeling dizzy.He pulled me into the room and Gerard was laying there sleeping"does he know?"I asked

  "if he wakes up and remembers anything from the fall he will if not then no"

  "your going to be the one to tell him right because I can't"I said in a squeeky voice and reached out grabbing his hand which was restrained to the bed.

  "yes I will be the one to tell him"

  "why did you restrain his arms?"

  "hes harmful to himself we wouldn't want anything to happen more then it has"

I sat here with nobody but him and me in the room.I didn't know how to do it all over again so I just texted his mother and my father.Gerard's dad walked in with Ricky by his side."how could you let this happen?"he asked me

  "How could I,ME let this happen!?why don't all take a look in the mirror.All you, Rain, Allison, Your ex wife have done since Michael died is blamed it on Gerard.Why can't you just be glad you still have Gerard?Why stand around and point fingers?Its not worth losing the one you love and care about and i've learned this"

  "Well im going to do with him what we should have done with Michael"

  "Michael was a different story"

  "Gerard needs help"he said

  "Get out of our lives!"I shouted

  "hes my son!"

  "Well he's my husband and hes over 18 so you have no say in what happens I do NOT you"

  "I know i'm telling you what you are going to do"

  "you don't tell me what to do!"I yelled as gerard's mother and my dad walked in.

  "there a problem here?"my dad asked

  "i'm trying to help my son while yours is being a bitch"

  "God get a life,Get a job!"I yelled and Ricky walked out of the room.

  "Frank calm down"my dad said

  "No!I want all of you to leave him alone I know how to handle this hes going into a rehab until hes better thats what I want I don't care what everyone else wants"

  "and what about Michael's-He'll be there"I said to his mother.

  "why are you giving Frank such a hard time?"my dad asked Gerard's dad

  "He acts like because he married to my son he has control of his life and I think hes a little young to be making choices about some of these things"

  "Frank is mature,He's not a kid he's a young man bright at that and Frank we need to talk later about school"he said

  "we can talk about it now"I said and everyone left us alone

  "your grades are dropping"he said sitting in a chair

  "Well...Thats because I quit dad"I said

  "Why?You where doing so well"

  "I wanted to go in the army.Gerard and I talked about it.I'm not going to be doing that either"

  "What are you going to do then?"

  "I'm not sure yet.Are you angry?"

  "Disappointed but not angry.I know you've heard enough about what people think but I think you just entered a huge location and you got lost and it made you change your mind but you'll find your place and if you ever have trouble you know you can talk to me"he said

  "I know and I just have so much stuff to take care of I had to take care of Gerard then Michael now its back to Gerard.You weren't lying when you said marriage was hard,the spouce's family likes to blame everything on you"

  "I know it gets hard sometimes and I know I never went through what your going through but I hope you'll let me guide you through it...If you need help"he said

  "Im thinking about putting him in rehab because I don't think he could do a 12 step program by himself i'd have to stay home and i need to work"

  "well you're being honest so why don't we look at the bright side of rehab instead of the bad"

  "Right now nothing about it seems bad"I replied.

  "look who is awake"he said pointing to Gerard

  "Dad get the doctor"I said and he looked at me

  "why hes fine"he said

  "he's not get the doctor"I said.The doctor walked in and I wasn't ready for him to tell Gerard."I can't be here right now dad please stay with him"I said walking out I walked over to his mother and his dad came at me again

  "Whats going on?"He asked

  "back off!"I said and pulled her in the room"just stay with him i'll be back"I said and started running back to the apartment.

Four Person Party

Allison                

 About 15 minutes of being home with Rain Frank called

  "hello?"

"Hey if Gerard shows up can you let me know?"he asked

  "yeah hey sorry about earlier"

  "I'd say its no big deal but i think it set Gerard off you know hes a hot head."

  "yeah but if he does show up or I see him i'll let you know"

  "thank you so much"

  "don't worry about it"I said i left Rain in her room while I locked the house up and went over to Patrick's.I knocked on the door then noticed it was unlocked so opened it and when I walked in Joe and Patrick were sitting on the couch.

  "told you it wasn't going to work out"Joe said turned towards the TV while they sat on the couch playing video games.My stuff wasn't packed up so I grabbed a box from the basement while they watched me and started packin my stuff up."hey"joe said while I went to put the first box in my car"allison the only reason I didn't want you to date him is because I still like you"

  "well I don't see why and you're not going to get in my pants thats easy but nice try"I said

  "oh come on"he said

  "fuck you and fuck him I can find better guys and don't even have to try"

  "allison just calm down why are you so upset?"

  "because my friend just died why don't you think back?"I asked shoving my way back through the door to get more of my stuff

  "allison sit down and talk to me"He said sitting on the couch and grabbing my arm when I tried to get through

  "Get lost!"I snapped grabbing the rest of my stuff.Then headed out the door for tonight and would be back tomorrow.

 When I got home I found a note on the table that said Rain took off to her dad's for the rest of the week.I started having trouble on the right side on my stomach so I laid down hopful that the pain would go away.

  I got up early and headed to work at the book store.Tyler Glenn walked over to me"Hey can you help me find a book?"he asked

  "yeah sure what are you looking for?"

  "ummm a book called Glass"he said

  "sure thing follow me"I said after looking it up.

  "here it is"i said handing it to him.

  "thank you Allison"he said with a killing smile.I walked back up to the counter while he went to auto books.I watched and waited for him to walk up to the counter.when he got up he had about 8 auto books

  "this book really doesn't fit in now does it?"I asked

  "well need a book to read when I get a break from working on cars.you do know if you have any problems well you can bring your car by right?"he asked smiling with his lollipop stick hanging out of his mouth.He placed his hand on the counter"bet you thought i'd do something cheesy"he said and picked his hand up off the counter.I looked down and there was a lollipop with a number on the stick he turned around and before he left gave me a wink.I picked up my phone because patrick was calling

  "im at work"I said right when I picked up

  "do you want me to pack the stuff you have in boxes still and bring it over later?"

  "yeah sure and anything I have laying around"I replied and hung up.

  "Allison have you seen Gerard?"Kassie ran up to me asking

  "no why?"

  "because Frank called me around 8 in the morning and told me that Gerard is gone and he doesn't know where to find him and he doesn't know where he is"

  "did they get in a fight?He called me to"

  "I don't know he was rather drunk when he contacted me but i don't think so"

  "he'll be back in a few days"I said

  "what if something happens?"

  "like what?"I asked"hes grown kassie he can take care of things by himself"

  "It's like letting a wolf into a forest whos lived in captivity all his life"

  "no its not"

  "why am i the only one freaking out about it"

  "listen Frank got drunk so he paniced now hes got everyone else freaking out but he'll be back"

 "Kassie?"asked a voice behind her and she turned around and Ray was in a wheelchair

  "Ray wh-what happened?"she asked

  "surprised Gabe didn't tell you"he said

  "what do you mean?"she asked

  "well we were in the war together I was his battle buddy"

  "small world right?"Kassie asked and he shook his head yes and rolled up and set his books on the counter. 

  "yeah hey you should stop by and see Gabe he's doing alot better since hes out"he said

  "i'll stop by and check before I go back to my apartment im living in.but it was nice seeing you"she said and walked out.

  "I haven't seen him for a long time,Gabe."I said to Ray

 "hes alot better hes been seeing a thrarpist so things don't trigger him as bad"

  "thats good.Hey does Ryan hang out with him?"I asked

  "yeah he stays over there to watch Gabe when his parents are gone just because they are unsure"

  "how are his burns,on his face?"

  "they did a skin graph but it looks better then we thought it would"he said

  "thats good is he dealing well with the healing process?"

  "you mean with his image?the tharapist helps with most of his insecurities about his body image"

  "im sorry I don't know how to word these things"

 "its okay just word them how they come to you i understand what you mean"he said

  "thanks"i replied and handed him his books.  

 After work I stopped by Gabe's and when I knocked on the door his mother answered giving me a big hug"hey i stopped by to see Gabe is he here?"

  "oh yes him and Ryan are in the back im making the boys drinks come on in"she said and the house smelt like my grandmother's when she'd make cookies.I walked to the back to see them in the pool splashing at eachother

  "No splashing in the pool boys!"I called out and gabe kind of shy'd away from looking at me

  "Its just Allison dude"Ryan said doggie paddle swimming over to me

  "should join the swim team with that great of a swim"I joked

  "I never really learned how t-to swim this is all I know"

  "oh boys!"called Gabe's mother.

  "how does she do it I mean she looks 23"I said while watching his mother walk out in heels

  "i don't know she had a bit under i knife you think those boobs are real?"he asked me and I just laughed 

  "Hey Gay-be"I said as he sat beside me

  "Hey,I know its stupid to say this but I heard about Mikey and i'm sorry I hope your feeling alright"he said

  "Well lets talk about you"I said 

  "What about me?"he asked

  "what happened to 'hey babe my names gabe and I know you think im hot'"I said in a mocking way.

  "I think my 'hey babe' days are gone"He said

  "Well I don't think so"I said"listen Patrick is going to drop my stuff off Rain isn't home she went to her parents you two can come over and we'll do somethings"

  "Is Kassie going to be there?"

  "Well im sure she'll come over if we ask...Well no because i bet she's looking for Gerard.She didn't there she is"I said pointing to her as she walked out the back door.Ryan jumped up and ran over to her.

  "I know this is out there but your face healed really well"I said

  "Thanks"he said and threw my purse behind me and shoved me in the pool 

  "are you kidding?"I asked

  "you could say that"he said laughing."had to get you wet before I came over"he added

  "Gabe!"I said trying to get out of the pool but he kept pulling me back

  "word is your back on the market"he said

  "and who said that?"

  "well you did you said Patrick was dropping your stuff off at your house"

  "Well i've got a line already"I said and got out "just meet me later"I said

  "hey Ryan told me rain went home?"Kassie asked

  "yeah I think she just wants to be close to her dad of all people"

  "well i'll stop by you headed over now?"she asked

  "yeah you can go pick up some 'fun' and we'll have a four person party"

  "sounds more like an orgy"Kassie said and gave ryan a hug then waved to us.

  "well then where were we?"Gabe asked wrapping his arms around my waist.

  "we were just saying goodbye"I said and stepped away from him.

Frank

Gerard lost it right when we got to the hospital in the waiting room so I got him water and just sat beside him.I grabbed Gerard's phone and texted Rain,their father,ricky,his mother and jake and waited by him until the doctor walked in.It felt like my heart stopped and my stomach hit the floor "Are you here for Michael Way?"he lady asked and I shook my head yes."We don't think Michael is going to pull through"she said and sat down and Gerard didn't move he just took deep breaths while I rubbed his back."i'll take you back and give you awhile with him.We've done everything we can and we are giving him as much blood as we can"she said and I helped Gerard up and walked him to the room.Mikey was being givin oxygen and blood.His eye were closed and they fluttered open and looked over at Gerard

  "Mikey you have to pull through"He said grabbing his hand and Mikey shook his head no."Frank can you give me a minute?"He asked and I went out but left a crack in the door with my shoe so I could hear."Mikey I don't know why you did it but you can get better you just have to get better I can't live without you you've been in my life since I was two thats sixteen years I love you Mikey"He said and I shut the door.I leaned against the wall and slid down so I was sitting.I looked up and Jake was the first one here.

  "Is he alright?"He asked

  "We don't know yet"I said standing up 

 "What happened?"he asked

  "Mikey.He tried to kill himself Jake"I said

  "Maybe you should go in"I said as Gerard walked out in tears and nurses went running in because the beeping of the machines.Jake walked in the room leaving Gerard with me.Gerard's parents ran in and Ricky took Gerard out of my arms and let me go in the room.The nurses told us they did all they could and I had to walk out and I ran to Gerard who was in a waiting room.Gerard looked up and I walked over to him and got on my knees in front of him grabbing his hands"Baby im so sorry"i said and he shook his head no and ricky got up and left us alone.I grabbed his left hand in my left and wrapped my right around his lower back.He leaned his head on my left shoulder after I turned towards him and burried my face in his neck.I trying to be strong for Gerard by not crying but couldn't be because Mikey was like a little brother to me.

  "I want to go home"Gerard said and Rain and Allison walked in and Gerard pushed between them and i looked them in the eyes and shook my head and walked out behind Gerard.

When we got home Gerard just went to our bedroom and laid down.I sat on the couch for a minutes with a bottle of wine.I got up and went into Michaels room and it was a disaster the huge stack of letters his dad gave to him covered the floor and you couldn't see one spot.There was four envelopes hanging from the ceiling on strings that were tacked to keep them hanging.I walked over to the cloest and it said Jake then to another one that said my name so I pulled it down and opened it.I sat down on the bed and started to read it.

   I don't know how to start this letter off believe me its easier to talk to you then write you but if your reading this you know its not possible or im laying in a hospital bed recovering.I'm sure the only question people have it why I did it I'd like for Jake to not see my room this way so pick the letters up and keep them or toss them its up to you and Gerard or you can give them back to him.I just would like for no one to think it was their fault because it was my own.I know I took an easy way out and it wasn't kind to anyone but I couldn't take the voices in my head anymore so it was me.I was myself.I just wanted to thank you for being there and trying to understand what I was going through I couldn't really wrap my head around what was going on.You did so much for me and I was so thankful.You were my friend since I was a little child and you were like a brother to me I know I wasn't the best person to be around all the time and we didn't always like eachother but you were a joy to be around,such a bright ball of energy and always as happy as you could manage.I was so proud when you went to rehab and got clean,When you married my brother.Take care of him like you always do and try to make the best of the worse times.I am so sorry.

                                              love Mikey

 I looked up and Gerard was standing in the door way looking at the room"Gerard hunny?"I asked shaking where I sat trying to pulled myself together.I stood up folding the note and slid it in my pocket while walking over to Gerard.

 "can you help me?"he aked pointing to the kitchen

  "yeah"I said and we walked over to the puddles after I filled a bucket with water and started cleaning up the mess.

  "Its not coming out"He said crying once we scrubbed for about an hour.i stood him up and took his gloves off and wrappedhis arm around me and started leading him to the room planting small kisses on his mouth and wiped his tears away.I got him sitting down on the bed and he looked up at me with that innoccent face.There was a knock on the door and I opened it.Rain pushed through and started screaming while Allison just stood there  

  "Its your fault you were selfish Gerard why couldn't you just do the right thing for once in your life!?"Rain yelled.I ran in the room pushing her out

  "you don't need to do this right now!"I shouted

  "Its his fault!"she cried pointing to the door.I pulled her in my arms and shut the door to our bedroom.I sat her on the couch then went to Mikey's room and grabbed the note to her.

  "It's not his fault now take her home Allison!"I said pushing them both out the door.I ran to Gerard who was just laying in bed

  "Baby i wasn't your fault!"I said

  "No it was frankie!it was my fault!"he said pulling the covers over his head not wanting to be seen by the whole word.

  "Baby if I thought it was your fault I would say so now lets go have a few glasses of wine and we'll take a long nap."i said pulling the covers down and pulling him against the hardwood flooring out into the kitchen.I pulled him up setting him in the chair."Lets celebrate.It'll make you feel better"I said setting the glasses on the table.

  "im leaving"he said

  "leaving where?"I asked laughing

  "im not telling"he said walking in the room and packing

  "your leaving me?"I asked standing there.

  "no i'll be back but I need to leave town for a little while.You can handle things right?"he asked

  "don't leave me!"I yelled trying to make him put his things down,throwing them down if I had to."baby please stay its not going to help if you leave and don't talk to anyone it wasn't your fault!"I screamed and he turned around hugged me and started walking out the door while I chased him."Please baby"I said before he hopped in a cab and it pulled off with me running after it"Gerard!"I yelled and Jake came out of nowhere pushing me out of the street while people were honking their horns.

  "Are you crazy why are you in the street?"he asked

  "Gerard just left me!"I said sitting on the sidewalk

  "well I don't know what thats like but you should start calling people so when he shows up somewhere they'll let you know where he is.Now lets go the your apartment and I well...I just came by to check...to see if Gerard needed anything."

  "well he doesn't"I said standing up and leaving him standing there with himself.

Allison 

  I was over at me and Patrick's house alone while he was at school because after our big fight he started school.He came home and I had dinner fixed and Rain called my phone so I stepped away from the table and picked it up

  "I need you to come over my car quit and Gerard texted me and told me to meet him and Gerard at the hospital.He isn't telling me whats going on"

  "I'll be there"I said and hung up 

  "I have to leave because Rain is freaking out Mikey is in the hospital."I said to him and he didn't say anything."Im sorry i know we were suposed to have dinner together but things come up"

  "Its not that Allison its when im home its like you don't even want to talk to me or work this out"

  "you listen to me i will try to work things out once you stop hanging out with skanks"

  "How can I stop hang out with skanks if I live with one?"he asked

  "are you infering that I cheated on you?"

  "no im infering that your a promiscuous person"

  "fuck you im out of here and you knew me all through school and you know how i am im not a skank im a catch"I said and grabbed my keys and walked out.

 "You coming back tonight?"He asked walked out behind me

  "No because I don't want to be here just pack all my stuff up because im done with it im done with you"

  "Allison!"He yelled as I pulled out of the drive way.I saw him go back in.

  When I got to Rain Patrick's mother was calling my phone and I didn't pick it up I just sent it to voicemail."So Gerard tell you whats going on yet?"

  "no he isn't even picking his phone up,I mean its ringing but theres no answer"

  "How has he been?"

  "He was fine lastnight Kassie even told me so she pulled me off to the side and told me how good he looked and he was playful like he used to be.It was like when we first started dating."

  "Maybe something went wrong with the medication but lets not talk about that right now me and Patrick are over for sure.He called me a skank before I left!"

  "That doesn't sound like him"rain replied.

  "he said that i act like i don't want to talk to him and to tell you the truth i don't want to"

  "So your moving back in?"

  "If someone will let me"i said in a high voice meaning her

  "Yay!"Rain said laughing.

A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist

Gerard

Me and Frank got home and were laying in bed laughing when we heard a loud crash so I jumped out of bed running to the living room or kitchen.I found Michael on the floor of the kitchen with black pools of blood on the floor around him.I ran over to him grabbing all the towels in the kitchen i could find."holy shit!"Frank said

  "go get me towels!"I yelled and Michael looked like he was going to pass out.I grabbed his wrists and noticed they was cut almost down to the bone and blood was squirting out.Frank got on the phone and was talking to the opperator but was on his knees helping me put pressure on the cuts.Mikey was trying to pull his arms away from us.

  "please stay with me Michael"I said trying to keep him awake

  "We shouldn't have let him drink at dad's"Frank said

  "don't worry about that right now"I said"Go get me a blanket hes getting cold"I added

 and pulled him close to me while holding both of his wrists.Frank wrapped a blanket around Mikey and he answered the door.I helped get Mikey off the floor and Frank and me locked the house up.We got in a cab and the driver agreed to follow the ambulence through the red lights.My body was shaking uncontrollably and Frank was gripping my hand frightened which scared me.I looked out watching the buildings fly by.

  "i thought he'd be alright"I said

  "Gerard he needs to go to rehab after this"

  "Do you think I was being selfish?"

  "about what?"

  "not taking him to a ward"

  "No baby the ward was last resort if we couldn't do anything and you tried.You tried so hard and I don't want you to think this was your fault there was nothing we could do"

  "Yes there was he wouldn't have done this in a rehab"I said crying and everytime I tried to wipe my face off I just got blood on it.

 "Gerard we didn't know he'd react to the medication like this"

  "but if he was in a rehab he wouldn't have been able to do this.He wouldn't be able to harm himself"

  "We don't even know why he did it Gerard.what I mean is we don't know if he was...well..him"

  "I feel like it was my fault"I said

  "We have to go to the hospital for him and make sure hes alright then we'll go back and look around his room and see what we can find"

Rain

Mikey came in acting like his normal self which was in a way strange to me because he hadn't been himself in awhile.Mikey crawled over to me and started kissing me."I'm going to miss you so much"he said

  "awww im going to miss you to but you do know im going to be here til late"I replied

  "I know but I don't know when im going to see you again after you do leave"

  "your so sweet Mikey"I said

  "so your staying for dinner then leaving?"

  "yes pumpkin"i replied and he took my jacket off then his shirt

  "so everything between us is good?"I asked"your not bad?"

  "i can't stay mad at you Rain"Mikey started kissing my neck and took my shirt off then my bra and moved down to my chest while taking my pants off then his

  "Michael we're headed over to dad's for dinner tonight just giving you a heads up"Gerard said opening the door then closed it.Michael let out a laugh I got comfortable while he took my underwear off while kissing my ribs.He came back up to me and embraced my head in his arms to pull my head towards him to kiss me.

  "I love you so much"He said while i wrapped my legs around him and he started moving his hips.You heartbeats picked up racing together which almost gave me a high feeling and our breathing matched up but his turning into deep moaning while I was almost gasping for air."I have to"he said cutting the rest of what he had to say off and he went to pull away but I grabbed his upper arms and pulled him towards me.Gerard knocked on and Michael rolled his eyes and started putting his clothes on

  "Get ready"he said and lit his joint 

  "I thought you stopped"I said

  "yeah like I can stop smoking "he said laughing

  "give me a hit"I said and he handed it to me while sitting at the end of the bed.I grabbed my underwear and jumped out of the bed and Gerards just sat there looking at me as well as Mikey.I handed the joint to Mikey and  put the rest of my clothes on.We got up to leave but me and Mikey where still in here getting ready and Gerard let Mikey shave by himself but he had to give Gerard the razor after he was finished. 

After Dinner 

It was hard saying goodbye to Michael because I could see how bad he wanted me to stay.We walked out while Gerard and Frank were inside talking to their dad.Mikey's hands slid up my skirt and he pulled my underwear off and I went to grab them but he balled them up laughing and put them in his pocket.I stoped when Frank and Gerard walked out and me and Mikey just stood side by side giggling.

  When I got home allison looked up at me and I took a shower then crawled in my bed which she was asleep in and closed my eyes.

Do you think he realized its  worse then he thought 

Gerard

Rain stayed at our place while Frank,Mikey and I ended up having to wake up the doctor who worked in a psychiatric practice next to the hospital for our emergency

  "I don't want to go to rehab!"Mikey screamed

  "his name is Dr.Bob Bryar"Frank said while I handled Mikey who was kicking at me

  "i changed my mind I don't want to please don't leave me here!"he cried and threw himself on the ground.

  "I'm never going to leave you"I said looking him dead in the eyes and I pulled him while Frank held the door open.I dragged Mikey inside and a man walked out

  "you must be Michael"The blonde haired man and he went to shake Michael's hand but Mikey grabbed onto me and wasn't going to let me out of his sight.

  "He is a bit confused he thinks its a ward"I said

  "Michael this isn't a ward its a practice we don't keep people here"Dr.bryar said

  "I'm his brother Gerard this is my hasband Frank"

  "well lets go have a talk in my office"he said leading us while Frank stayed out in the waiting room,laying down in three chairs taking a nap.

  "Is there any way I could just talk to your brother Gerard for a minute or so?"he and asked and Michael fell to the floor having a seizure."lets get him to the E.R. and we'll come back and talk."

Once we got Michael to the E.R. Frank stayed over and would let them know he was diagnosed with."I'm sure it was just a side effect from the medication.I was wondering if you could try to explain the most extream side of Michael.what I mean is he volent and manic like severe mood swings or is it more like a dangerous loss of contact with reality, sometimes leading to violence against self or others.Does he go completely out of if just explain what you can"

  "When you mean loss of contact with reality like changing into a whole other person like blacking out?"

  "yeah doesn't remember what hes done or what he just did or is even know he completely changed into another person maybe doesn't answer to his name or tells you hes someone else"

 "yeah"i said

  "Has he ever hurt anyone or maybe himself?"he asked

  "No"I lied trying to protect him

  "your sure because if hes at that point he very well could be." he said and his phone rang"I need to get this"he said and he said yes he is and hit the speaker phone

  "We were wondering if you would approve your husband singing papers for restrains"the lady over the phone said

  "Yes"I said and Dr.Bryar hung up and gave me a look"now why did you approve those?"he asked

  "Mikey is harmful to himself"I said

  "You just said he's never hurt himself"

  "I lied"I said

  "These are things I do need to know to help him.The hospital might try to place him in a psychiatric ward if they needed restraints they can make a call"

  "No I don't want him to go.I will not let you or anyone else put him in rehab."I said

  "How harmful do you believe he is to himself?"

  "Tonight he cut his legs with glass when he was out of it"

  "Gerard I know I shouldn't say this but all this 'hes not going to a ward' is selfish"he said

  "no it comes down to a promise I made before i realized how bad it was"

  "Well do you think he realized its worse then he thought as well?"he asked

  "No listen he needs medication and he'll be fine right?"I asked

  "no Gerard we are going to have to take him to a ward for maybe a week"

  "No! I said no! he needs medication there is always someone there at the house with him can you just give me a prescription for him and send me out?"

  "I can't I told you what needs to be done"

  I got up and walked out to the hospital and they said he would be okay just a little sore.

Next day 9:00am

 we walked into the doctor we went to yesterday and I explained the night and he gave Mikey chlorpromazine which is a Antipsychotic and we went home.Mikey started acting better on the way home which eased my mind.He seemed happy which is the only thing I want to see for him.things were looking up.